How to Read to Your Kids from Pregnancy to Teen Years

Tammy Fernando • May 15, 2025

We all know that parents are a child’s primary educators, right?

You teach your kids so many things from potty training to dressing themselves…

You teach your kids how to listen and how to talk; what intimacy looks like and how to be confident so that they can ask for what they want. You provide a safe place for them to be nurtured, and you show them how to love. Everything that you have just read in this paragraph happens when you read your child a bedtime story! Reading is not just about increasing your child’s vocabulary and getting them school ready – that will happen naturally but there is so much more that is at stake here.

Relationship deepener

Bedtime reading will develop a deeper relationship with your child and vice versa. It’s a special time in the day when the sun starts to go down and our body unwinds and relaxes more. A warm bath or shower will increase this lovely feeling. It will also signal to your child that he/she is getting to have you all to themselves! And that’s what they want!

In your arms, they will feel snuggled, loved and safe…

In your arms, the bonding hormone, oxytocin, goes to work… (see my reflection on hugging for more information: How Often Should We Hug Our Kids? The Power of Hugs)

Your Reading Voice!

As you read the story, make it as exciting as you can with different voices for the different characters, as this will really engage your child and will make him/her laugh! Unless, of course, they ask you to stop. That actually happened to me as I read to my niece and nephews! Two of them didn’t like the accent I was using for one of the characters - I think it just sounded too strange to their sensitive souls. I stopped, of course, but it just goes to show how sensitive we are as human beings. As adults we need to be attentive to their mood and to how they perceive things always.

As a new parent you may never have had to read out loud to anyone before….but be brave - as it becomes easier the more you practice. Your children won’t be assessing you and marking you out of 10!

Mums and Dads both need to read…

I spoke to a friend of mine and asked her to cast her mind back to the days when her son was little. What was reading like to her child? She said she loved it and that she became completely absorbed in her son’s little world. She also said that you need to spend at least 15 minutes reading to your child once they can concentrate for that long. She also said something interesting. She said that she did most of the reading to her son. Her husband did a bit, but it was mainly my friend who took on the role of reading stories at bedtime. I, sadly, wasn’t brought up on bedtime stories and neither did my parents model reading for enjoyments sake. My mum read the odd magazine, and my dad quite often buried his head in medical journals as he was a GP. But somehow through all this God gave me a gift to tell stories and to eventually write them! Just goes to show that everything is possible with God!

It is so important that both mums and dads both take part in reading to their children. Men and women look at things differently and it’s important for children to see both points of view. A boy needs to know how females think as this will impact on his future relationships with the opposite sex. And the same goes for girls. There may not be a father or a mother figure in some families but with a bit of creativity someone can be brought in to fill that role. For example, how about having a trusted ‘mother’ or ‘father’ figure to engage with your child regularly? How about a grandparent or a God parent or simply a friend whom you trust? Even if they came to visit once every two weeks that would be amazing.

Dad’s Reading to their kids

A man and a baby are laying on a blanket

This video talks about a website called ‘All Pro Dad’. For dad’s who would like extra support in reading and relating to their children this website could be really helpful, here is the link.

Raising Boys? How to Strengthen the Father Son Relationship | All Pro Dad

To encourage dads to read every day, dads might want to check out the 4-6 week course, ‘Fathers Reading Every Day’, which is based in London, England. Here are the contact details.

Fathers Reading Every Day - Do Something Good

I hope that other countries have something similar to offer.

Adding to the story

A mother and daughter are laying on a bed reading a book together.

Always let your child choose the book they want to have read to them. When it comes to stories, whichever they ask for over and over again are the ones that they are deeply learning from. As a parent you won’t know what exactly they are learning – but this doesn’t matter. The brain is very complex, and each child will have their own curriculum which is being followed. And that is because every single human being learns in different ways and at different speeds. This is how God has ordained it. This is why the famous Italian educator, Maria Montessori, said, “Follow the child….” If we follow where they lead, they will develop according to God’s ordained design. So, when your toddler starts to try and slide your bank card in between a slit in the floorboards – they are signalling that this is what they need to learn about now! Take away your bank card and give them something like this instead:

Back to Adding to the Story

As you read to your child, you can slowly add your own thoughts here and there:

“That must have made Shannon very uncomfortable….what do you think, darling?”

This needs to be done minimally or your child will lose the drift of the story. As time goes on your child will hopefully ask his/her questions about the story, which you need to answer on the spot. They want to know what is going on and to understand. They are not only learning about the characters in the stories, but they will be learning about life and relationships.

Children need to know that reading is fun and not about school and taking exams. They need to know that it is a skill for living life. Take a look at this short video:

Modelling Reading

Showing your child that you are enjoying reading is a great way to get him/her to love books…because children always want to do what their parents are doing!

A man in a white sweater is sitting on the ground reading a book.

A woman is sitting on a rock in the grass reading a book.

Reading in the womb!

A baby’s hearing is developed from 16-22 weeks of life in the womb! As a midwife this is something that really penetrated my soul. They say that hearing is also the last thing to stop working as we die. I find this all so fascinating! So this means that you can tell stories to your baby in the womb…

You can simply talk to your baby and just tell them anything that is happening in your day! The funny thing that happened at the bus stop; how your nephew was speaking to your child in your tummy and that he slobbered all over you; how you and his dad met; how you and your hubby felt when you first looked at the ultrasound; how you are preparing his room….and the stories go on!

God has designed us for stories, and that’s why Jesus Christ used story all the time - because He knew it would enthral us and make us listen. We all love a story, so tell your baby in the womb what is going on in the outside world and how much you are looking forward to meeting him. You could ask him what’s happening in the womb? You could read him something from the bible? See how he responds…

Reading out loud to pre-teens

As strange and counter intuitive as this may seem, I encourage you to have a look at the next two videos which will not only explain to you the reasons to read to your pre-teen but will show you how to do it.